Journey Beyond

There are two sides to discontentment. The good side and the not so good side. This week, I’m focusing on the not so good side…

This only works if you pause between each sentence and think before moving on to the next.

Think of everything that you don’t have (pause and think).

Now think of everything you have (pause and think).

Question – are you content? (Pause and think)

I’m ashamed to admit that I found it easier to think of everything I don’t have rather than everything I have. It reveals that I live in a world that has taught me how to instinctively think about what I lack, but provides little space to celebrate and enjoy what I have. I am not particularly content.

Contentment, as Wikipedia defines it, is ‘the neuro-physiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one’s situation.’ Discontentment is the opposite and arises when we compare and contrast our own situation with that of others. This is what we are hard-wired to do. Your life is ok, but if you have this, it would be so much better, is the message. The source of my discontentment is comparing and contrasting my life with the mythical lives of made up, unreal people in adverts, films or just people I don’t know to well. The extent to which I compare myself to this unreal and thus unattainable vision of life is the extent to which I am doomed to discontentment.

When I am discontented, I strive for contentment by attempting to attain the things others have that I need / want. I race to acquire more stuff, more success, more recognition… just more. The absurdity of it is well summed up by Arthur Gish.

“We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like.”…

Arthur Gish

Question – What is the cause of climate change?

There are lots of answers to this question. One of the contributing factors is discontentment. Discontentment easily becomes coveting. Coveting easily leads to using resources and developing lifestyles that are not necessarily sustainable. But because I am pursuing my individual contentment, as I am told to, I can justify the adverse affects that my pursuit has on those who suffer most from things like climate change – the poor.

But what if contentment, or true happiness, is not about striving for what I don’t have? If my compass for happiness becomes more about enjoyment and thankfulness for what I do have, then my pursuit of it need not have such adverse affects on the poor. Furthermore, if true contentment lies in my relationship to others, to looking beyond myself, then this pursuit may even benefit those at the bottom of the pile. Here’s what I aspire to be able to say honestly…

‘I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done…I have learnt how to get along happily whether I have much or little. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation.’

St Paul (Philippians) 

ACTION POINTS:

Make a real effort this week to enjoy what you have and resist thoughts about things you don’t have but want / need.

Drop an email to a good friend this week who would be willing to journey with you on pursuing true fulfillment – make a habit this week of just emailing each other what you are thankful for. Name the things you are discontented about.