I have a good friend who I call an Urban Monk. I call him an Urban Monk because he’s spent the last 3 years committed to what I consider a radical lifestyle of absence. Living incredibly simply so he only had to work quarter time, he’d spend a lot of the rest of the time intentionally with God. He’d often take trips to monasteries, or visit hermits (people who live a life of solitude), go on long walks, sit in his room, wonder the streets. He’d keep his phone off most of the time and only check emails once a week or so. We’d often talk of him as having gone AWOL because often none of us could get in contact with him or find him for weeks on end
be honest, I spent some time at the start of my friends ‘Urban Monk career’ trying to figure out what he was doing and why - pursuing this life style didn’t really compute for me. These days I feel like I’m getting closer to understand - so here’s my reflections.
Acknowledging that so much of our lives are lived out of obligation and fear rather than love and freedom in Jesus, he was courageous enough to do something radical about it. The hope was to journey towards a place free from obligation and abouding in love for God and people - to pursue God’s presence and to have some of that rub off on him. Whenever I meet up with him these days the one thing that always strikes me is his spirit - grace seems to flow out of him. Not in a super spiritual way, but in how he talks, the look in his eyes, who he is. And he imparts that to those he spends time with.
I’ve learnt that, far from being a contradiction to practising presence, if I never have time to be fully absent, I can never be fully present.
Now I’m not suggesting we all become Urban Monks. I’m also not suggesting the only time we can find God is by practising absence - far from it. But what I have learnt from my Urban Monk in a very real way is that I can busy myself as much as I like with ’saving the world’ but if I do not intentionally make space to be absent from the world and connect with the source of life and love itself, I have nothing to give. And that is a hard thing for me to admit.
How are you practising absence?
If you are like me, you don’t practise much absence at all. Decent time with God is rarely safeguarded and normally interruptible. Space for loved ones who give me life can easily become rushed or infrequent. I let the busy presence of the world invade my absence to the point where there is often little difference between the two.
The Jesus I see in the gospels, whilst having hoards of people follow him everywhere, made space for regular quality time with his inner circle. He was often sought solitude on the mountainside - immersed himself in God’s presence. And he changed the world.
So I’m left with a challenge. If I am to have the resources to truly practice life-changing presence in this world, I need to be courageous and creative enough to practice true absence. I’ve you’re like me, you probably need to hear that as well.
ACTION POINTS: reconnect with God, others and yourself
1. Set aside time to be absent - perhaps make a Sabbath and use it to spend time connecting with God and those who give you life. During your absent time why not try some of the following - don’t check your emails, turn your mobile phone off, avoid the TV, spend some time chatting with friends about God and pray together, have some quality time with someone you love.
2. Check out Tearfund’s prayer podcasts - each day they provide a short mediation, thought and international focus to aid connecting with God when on the move. www.tearfund.org/praying/podcast
